So I thought that everyone would appreciate an update. The last post was pretty depressed. I am still the same, with mainly the same feelings. But I don't want anyone to worry. I will, as always, get through it. I am not so bad that bad things will happen. I think it is normal for someone in my situation to have these feelings every now and then. I am still an upbeat and positive person... but a lot of negative (which is what my health is) is grating and can really get to you after a while. I will get happy again, don't you worry about that.
I haven't been sleeping well.. I hope to change that tonight. Don't know for sure what all I am going to do with myself tomorrow, but I hope I have the energy for it. I am going to bed now. I didn't get to sleep last night until 530 am!! and I had to then get up for a funeral at 830 am! So I am tired. hopefully it will work for me to go to sleep.
Anyways, the point of this was to reassure you all that I am ok. And that I am not going to be doing anything stupid. I just have a negative and morbid mind right now.
Anna its ok to have feelings like this, you are human and also twenty five. Yes you are correct, you can't dwell on it. Think what it would be like with out all the medical help you receive. In my own mind , I need to hold out for hope of a cure. But being a realist, it may not happen. For me I just focus on what I have with you and think of ways to make sure I have no regrets with everyday that you are here in this world. Its my MOJO if you will. I am very thankfull for what has gone right for you with this medical condition. I just don't want you to suffer for a year or years on end. That would be selfish of me. Your are so special and nothing to do with ED. I know, myself, would be more pissed of than any other emotion if I were you. and I would probably make that my MOJO. Not right but it would probably change to thankfull over time. Just don't feel sorry for yourself and I really don't think that you could. Just to sum it up, your doing right and better than most could even try, so praise be to you! My shinning star! I love you, my sweet daughter and never more proud of you! Love Dad
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