A Lot

I am so sorry to not have written in so long! I got back from Rapid City and didn't have any internet!!! Turns out that I just needed to reset my modem. Why didn't I think of that?!?

So I got back into Junction Monday evening. Dad left that same evening for home, sleeping in Cheyenne. I did really well through the whole trip. I didn't really start hurting until it started storming on the way from Ft Co to here. And that hurt like hell.

Starting the Tuesday I was up there, I have had yucky yellow drainage. I talked to my nurse in Denver, and she wanted me to go to my primary. Well... he took one look and said go to Denver. That he couldn't help me with it. Needless to say, I was way stressed! Well, after talking to several different nurses I was sent to the emergency room (this was this last Tuesday) to get a culture. Those in the mean time have come up negative (meaning it isn't an infection). And my nurse had already figured that was the case. WELL, I was told it sounded like because of my lupus, my immune system has gone berserk and has decided to reject the catheter. My rheumy said that my lupus has been in remission for more than the last year and that if my body is rejecting the tubing I just have to live with it.

I felt like I had just been dumped by the two people who were close enough to help me. I am angry, depressed, and stressed. What do I do now. My nurse said that my Dr in Denver doesn't know. It is dangerous to leave it in because it may become infected or I may grow an abscess because of the rejection and drainage. I am trying so hard not to push people away. I just want to snuggle up with my mom and watch tv. I don't want to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. And I know that isn't healthy.

I also now must start looking for a doctor in the Grand Valley who is accepting patients and who is willing to work with multiple doctors in Denver. There are no other rheumys here in this area. I will have to call one at the Univ of Colo Hospital. So there is yet another doctor too far away to help me.

On a good note... the dr who treated me in the ER Tues was awesome!! Julie Mills. I will be asking for her.